


Shelter Me

by regalfrnk



Series: underground [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: High School AU, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-01-24 00:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18560335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regalfrnk/pseuds/regalfrnk
Summary: In Frank’s Cold War-constructed high school building, there were two places to get the fuck away from everyone and everything- the evacuation tunnels and this bathroom on the ground level which was wrongly labelled as a janitor's closet.





	1. Scene One: The Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

> if you didn't read the warnings like a heathen, THERE IS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT  
> thanks 4 reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s weird to say a bathroom is your favorite place in the world, right?

It’s weird to say a bathroom is your favorite place in the world, right? It’s an odd thing to claim that you have a lot of good memories in a bathroom?

But in Frank’s Cold War-constructed high school building, there were two places to get the fuck away from everyone and everything- the evacuation tunnels, which Frank had all but dismissed as a myth because no one had ever actually found an entrance, let alone explored- and this bathroom on the ground level which was wrongly labelled as a janitor's closet which was partially true. A section of the bathroom was walled off and, upon snooping while he probably should’ve been at track, Frank found a showerhead and a couple of way-past-moldy mops. So the air smelled slightly of mold and slightly of pot, which Frank occasionally contributed to but definitely was not the only source of- but it was mostly unoccupied, and Frank found the stall with no toilet (and no clear purpose whatsoever) to be a pretty good study-smoke space. 

But Frank had been there not five minutes when he heard the door bang open. He held his breath, assuming it was a teacher here to kick him out because there was an actual nuclear threat and this room was almost solid fucking concrete- but no, he heard a low “shit” in a voice that definitely belonged to an adolescent accompanied by the door slamming. The sneakers, which was the only thing Frank could see under the wall, paused at the door, clearly confused by the less-than-janitorial function of the room, then a small sigh and the person went to stand in front of the mirror. 

Frank stood very quietly and slung his open bag over his shoulder, ready to run if this kid looked like he could beat Frank up for, like, breathing. But no, Frank realized as he peered through the crack in the stall door. In front of the busted-up mirror stood a kid draped entirely in black, hair to his shoulders, an oversize black hoodie and jeans with pinkish makeup around his eyes. Frank couldn’t recall seeing him before but if he wasn’t so paranoid at the moment he might think about befriending him. On a second glance, he looked to be a sophomore. Frank knelt softly, less tense. The kid was probably going to do his makeup then leave. That’s why people go into what they believe to be a janitor’s closet, right? 

The next thing Frank heard was cloth swishing and then the  _ tink  _ of a small metal object hitting the floor. Frank frowned and peered back under the door as two more  _ tink _ ’s came. Falling at the kid’s feet and bouncing a bit closer to Frank, he saw that the metal formed blades, the kind that come inside a shaving razor. His stomach turned. 

Straightening again, the kid came into focus through the wall. And his left sleeve was rolled up to the elbow… there were several smaller marks on his forearm closer to his hand… it looked like he was testing the blades one by one and dropping the duller ones. Frank felt sicker. Because what was he testing them for… 

Frank only seemed to be able to watch in horror despite the urgency of the situation. He wished he could think of that first, but clouding his mind was how  _ awkward  _ it would be if-

The larger blade the kid was now holding caught the light from a tiny window ten feet up, bringing Frank back to the moment. The lowest mark he’d made was bleeding the most, and he was lining the blade up to that big vein down the middle of his arm and  _ fuckfuckfuck _ \- 

“Hey!” was all Frank produced before he broke the hinges off the door trying to get it open and fell on the floor about four feet from the pile of razors. Frank scrambled up, barely preserving his palms, “Hey, dude, what the hell-” He grabbed at the kid’s sleeve, hood, anything he could get his hands on and managed to knock the blade into the sink. The kid was just staring at him listless, like Frank had just come through the ceiling because well he kind of had. A three-inch slash turned diagonal by Frank’s efforts was already dripping onto the concrete. 

“Holy fuck, you need- something,” Frank said intelligently. He looked around the room, tried the ancient paper towel dispenser then snapped the hinges and grabbed a roll out. When he turned back, the kid had the blade in his hand again and was fucking  _ jamming _ it back into the opening- 

“Hey!” Frank snapped and grabbed the kid’s wrist roughly and wrestled the blade away from him, this time tossing it into a dark corner of the room. The kid’s face had gone paler and he was breathing in short stutters- shit,  _ shit _ , he had bled all over the floor and in the sink- Frank pressed a wad of paper towel to his wrist and half pinned him to the wall next to the sink with his weight. 

The kid watched him passively with glazed eyes, mouth agape. He was slumped under Frank’s weight. He had lost a lot of blood and as a bonus, Frank had been scaring the shit out of him since he had crashed through the stall door, then basically  _ fought _ him, which couldn’t be good for his heart. Fuck.

“Sit,” Frank ordered, kneeling then tugging hard on the boy’s hoodie for him to follow. Frank kept the paper to his wrist- he didn’t trust that the kid wouldn’t just try again if Frank left him. Frank understood what suicide was and everything, but he was almost  _ angry  _ at the guy for not helping Frank save his fucking life. 

“What’s your name,” Frank asked, digging around in his backpack with one hand for his phone. He thought he’d need to know when he called the ambulance, or god forbid face this poor kid’s fucking family, was late to his next class- shit, why was he still  _ thinking _ about shit like that? The kid pawed weakly at Frank’s arm, trying to get him off.    
“Stop.” While he dialed, the kid’s lips moved. “Gee,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Gerard.” 

“911, what’s your emergency?” 

Frank gripped around Gerard’s wrist and held his other hand when he was prompted to. Once he heard voices in the hall and Gerard’s head rolled forward, Frank screamed until the paramedics came and took Gerard away. 


	2. We Go Down (Underground)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you think it could be- it couldn’t, though-"

“Frankie, there could be people here!” Gerard giggled, halfheartedly trying to push Frank off of him.

    “The janitors are my people,” Frank laughed back, kissing under Gerard’s jaw and sliding his hands up Gerard’s shirt. They were in the auditorium way after practice hours and Frank had been waiting to jump Gerard’s bones all fuckin’ day. As soon as he was off work, he had driven to Gerard’s play practice to wrestle him onto the theater floor.

    It had been six months since Frank had restrained Gerard from bleeding himself out. Since then, Gerard was in and out of therapy, school, and work, and he’d been dating Frank for three months. A little unconventional start, but Gerard was doing a lot better. He walked around like he’d been freed, and in a way, he had.

    Gerard gave, and was kissing just under Frank’s ear when he fucking bit Frank’s earlobe, which was kind of sexy until he scrunched up his face and spat something on the ground. Frank raised an eyebrow and sat up from his crouched position. “I got your damn plug in my mouth,” Gerard said indignantly, still making a bitchy little face and frowning at Frank.  
    “My apologies, mister,” Frank giggled and knelt on the floor to retrieve the plug. “How far can you spit?” He swished his hands around on the thin carpet floor, searching for the missing plug.

    “Giggity,” Gerard deadpanned back, and dropped to the floor to help Frank look for his stupid earring. He crawled a few rows of seats forward because the floor slanted to the stage, and Frank heard a gasp. “Find it?” He shouted, then cursed when he sat up and hit his head on the seat.

    “No, but Frankie, come here!” Gerard exclaimed. “Did you find a _better_ earring?” Frank replied, annoyed. He felt a hand grab his ankle and yank him down. “Hey, hey, what?” He crawled over to where Gerard lay on his stomach, gazing under one of the seats. He pointed under the last seat in the row, and Frank noticed a grate in the wall, about four feet wide and two deep. Gerard’s eyes were wide. “Do you think it could be- it couldn’t, though, the staff said all the entrances were walled off-” Frank was already digging around in his pocket for his multitool.

    They both army crawled over to the grate and Gerard held his breath while Frank worked off the screws in the sides. He took the metal off and set it gently to the side. “Holy shit, Frankie,” Gerard breathed excitedly.

    There was at least a ten foot drop down to the bottom of the hole. Gerard shone the flashlight from his phone on cobwebs and a roughly carved out tunnel, staring eagerly at Frank. “Can we- could we go-”

    Frank was already at the edge of the stage, eyes on some blocks that the drama club had painted for their production of _Charlie Brown._ But they would never fit through the cutout, so he grabbed a footstool. That would at least make a fall easier. When he lined it up to the entrance, he realized it wouldn’t fit either. He met Gerard’s eyes.

    “You go first. You’re taller.”  
    Gerard looked disgruntled, but after Frank offered to hold his hands and stare lovingly into his eyes the whole time, Gerard agreed. He backed into the hole without thinking as Frank gripped his wrists and lowered him down softly. Gerard held his flashlight up bravely and took a few steps until he was out of Frank’s sight.

    Frank heard a scream.

    “Gee?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sorry about all the cliffhangers ☭ ͜ʖ ☭


	3. Spiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Really? You'll face death in my place but you're really afraid of-"

Frank dropped into the small concrete space, absorbing the shock in his heels and knees. Gerard had the flashlight, so he felt around in the dark for his boyfriend. “Gerard?” He whisper-yelled, in case, I guess, there were mole rats that would hear him or something. A beam of light hit him in the eyes from around the corner a few yards in front of him. He jogged towards it. “Oh, there you-” 

Gerard’s light was turned on a massive fucking spider web blocking the way, with a Gerard-sized interruption in the middle. “I walked right into it,” Gerard breathed. He shuffled back to a frozen Frank and pressed his head into his shoulder. “Sorry to scare you.” But sorry, Gerard, the thought of you being hurt did not strike half the fear into Frank’s heart as that spider web did. Based on the size alone, the spider could probably eat Frank. Even though he didn’t  _ see  _ a spider, he knew there had to be more. Where there’s one, there’s like, seventeen billion. That’s just a scientific fact. 

“It felt like a goddamn net. I thought someone was gonna take me away.” Gerard had his hands fisted in Frank’s shirt, oblivious to his terror. He giggled softly. “Frankie?” 

He was digging in his pocket and eventually wielded his knife towards the web. “Have I ever told you,” Frank breathed. “That I am very scared of spiders?” 

“Big you?” Gerard straightened and watched as Frank approached the web. “Really? You’ll face death in my place but you’re really afraid of-” He was cut off by Frank’s squeal when he sliced through the web and it clung to his sleeve. He jumped back, frantically wiping himself off with his hands and saying ‘eugh’ repeatedly. Gerard bit back a giggle and walked up behind Frank and wrapped his arms around him. “You’re my big brave man.” Frank looked pale. 

“Mhm. That I am. Let’s keep going.” He walked further into the hallway, holding Gerard’s hand and kind of dragging him behind. He spotted a few more webs around the corners and such, but nothing his 5’6” stature could feasibly get caught in. “It’d be so cool to bring some paint down here and just, make a masterpiece, Frankie,” Gerard sighed happily, staring at the concrete walls, leaning into his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“Everyone would know it was you though,” Frank replied. “If they found it!” Gerard laughed back. Then, of course, they had that ten-minute argument about whether art was really art if no one saw it, Gerard arguing the side of creating just to create, and Frank valuing art purely by its audience. They never got anywhere with the argument, but while they were walking, they’d wandered into some sort of bunker. 

Shelves were built into the concrete walls, and on the shelves were cans of imperishables and jugs of water, blankets, a fire extinguisher? “They say to never smoke in- bunker,” Gerard joked, looking through cans of tomatoes and peaches for anything interesting. He dug up this ancient helmet and was excitedly babbling to Frank when Frank noticed something odd. When he shone the flashlight onto Gerard’s skin, his skin looked like contained smoke, curling around his bones and over his muscles. Sure, Gerard was pale- practically translucent- but that was weird. 

“And Frankie, they thought that these witch doctor masks would keep them from getting the plague and- that didn’t work, but I’m thinking of doing this concept art piece- Frankie?” Frank was at Gerard’s side in an instant and was holding his arm, staring at his skin. He’d thought it was a figment of his imagination in an odd environment. 

“Am I seeing things?” Frank was really concentrating, making sure his eyes weren’t tricking him. Gerard pulled his arm away. He was staring at the ground, his arms wrapped tightly around the helmet now as if it would protect him. 

“Let’s just go.” Gerard set it back on the shelf and shoved his hands in his pockets, walking quickly towards the door. “Hey, wait.” Frank jogged over to him and caught his elbow. Gerard kept shoving him off and Frank got more frustrated at his sudden shutdown until he pushed Gerard against the wall and he  _ sunk into it _ . 

Frank almost blacked out. There were a lot of possible explanations, and his mind raced through them as he stared at his boyfriend, his mouth hanging open. But none of the thoughts in his head came out when he finally said- “Um,  _ excuse me? _ ” 

Gerard stared up at him sheepishly and slowly unstuck his shoulders from the wall. “We need to talk.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow.. another cliffhanger? i'm so unpredictable and quirky


	4. Puppets: Shadow, Meat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now was not the time for Frank to make a dick joke.

“So, I never made it out of the hospital. I think.” Gerard was looking at Frank with a face exactly like ‘:/’ which Frank hadn’t even known was possible. It was a look of almost pity. 

Both their backs were pressed to the cement wall close to the hole where they had come in. Frank had the flashlight and they had both been forming shadow puppets with their hands that cast on the wall. Gerard’s puppets always showed lighter than Frank’s, because- and Frank didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed this before- the light shone straight through Gerard’s skin. 

“I don’t get it.” Frank just kept shaking his head. He knew Gerard was here, he was here. He was definitely still Gerard. “I don’t really get it either, Frankie.” Gerard’s hand slipped into Frank’s flashlight-less one. Frank tried to keep from wincing. It was so  _ weird  _ to be holding the hand of a- ghost, he supposed, but he was trying to keep from hurting Gerard’s feelings. It had to be weirder, more confusing, for Gerard, which is probably why Gerard didn’t tell him right away. He had been kind of sporadic and nervous in his first month back, but Frank had just assumed that it was because Frank had literally saved his life and- no- he’d failed. 

“I failed.” Frank said out loud suddenly. Gerard looked up at him with a frown. “You what?” Frank shook his head. 

“This whole time, I- I thought I saved you, but I failed. You’re dead.” Frank had this deep frown on his face, like it could never come undone. Like Wybie from Coraline. Gerard was quick to sit up and take his face in his hands. “Frankie. You did not fail. I was the one who, well.” He glanced down. “Killed me.” Gerard stared at Frank, measured.  They had a really odd dynamic in this way, because Frank’s tendency was to look away when talking got tough while Gerard absolutely stared the other down. It was unnerving. Catholics don’t talk about their feelings, right? 

“So how did it feel? How did you know?  _ Did  _ you know?” 

Gerard tipped his head back and blew out a breath. “I-I mean, I saw my body. I was outside my meat puppet, y’know.” Now was not the time for Frank to make a dick joke, or make a reference to some obscure seventies band. He nodded like he understood. He had experienced dissociation in the past, maybe had a fever-induced lucid dream as a sick child, but nothing quite like Gerard was describing. 

Frank nodded finally. “Okay. So you’re dead.” He started to run a quick fact check by his boyfriend. “Correct,” Gerard answered. 

“And you’re here. Next to me.” Gerard nodded and rubbed his thumb into Frank’s palm. He didn’t know how to remain calm here. Gerard felt that he should be the one freaking out, I mean, he was on another plane of existence, after all, but he found himself comforting Frankie. “Right,” Gerard breathed out of useless lungs. Useless heart, useless air, useless dick- actually, he hadn’t tested that out yet. 

“This is totally unnecessary, but- do you sleep?” Gerard shook his head. “I float around in this weird trance. I think it’s me recharging my energy or something  _ like _ sleep, but I am no longer on earth. It’s why I’ve never slept over at your house. I disappear.” At least that part made sense to Frank now. That’s why Gerard had been like goddamn Cinderella, always scooting out of Frank’s apartment right before midnight. He just assumed Gerard didn’t want to take it ‘that far’ yet. 

“Does anyone else know?” Gerard shook his head again. Frank stared at him. “How?” Gerard took a breath.    
“I swung some shit. Can I tell you more later? I don’t… I don’t like talking about it.” Gerard looked sad and his state was fading from solid to gas. Frank nodded and squeezed Gerard’s hand back. “Let’s get out of here.” 

And that’s how they ended up, Frank boosting his spectre lover up to a hole in the ground so he could lift Frank out of some evacuation tunnels under their school building, where said spectre lover had phased through the wall mid-fight and spectre lover’s lover had been shocked at the realization that his lover was dead. Yeah. That’s how the story goes. 

The ride back to Frank’s was mostly quiet, until Gerard spoke up. “Do you want to see it?” Frank’s mind, of course, immediately thought of his undead dick. “See what?” 

“The energies.” Frank nodded like he understood. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. “Bring me back to your place, please.” 

Everything was more cautious since Frank had figured out. Taking Gerard’s hand scared him now, and at every touch he was afraid Gerard would disappear. And when Frank finally pulled the covers over both of them, he saw Gerard go translucent, form getting thinner and thinner. 

“So you’ll just disappear?” Frank whispered, holding Gerard’s hand in both of his own. “I won’t until you’re asleep,” Gerard replied, squeezing back. Frank kind of wanted to see it, but it was probably best. His head was throbbing and the nasty dust that he and Gerard had kicked up with every step in those tunnels couldn’t be doing good things to his lungs. 

Gerard’s thumb rubbed circles in Frank’s palm as his fading form disappeared behind Frank’s closing eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i don't like this chapter :/ but lemme know what y'all thought please, I really appreciate the feedback


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